By: Danny Hovhanesian
Since 2010, B-movie horror films have been plopped in front of our faces, seemingly more frequent in release than the amount of cheap scares they implement in their movies. Failing to be anything original, they play it safe, and audiences eat up the mediocrity. “Cabin in the Woods” seemed like the light at the end of this torturous tunnel with its original concept, but it falls completely flat.
“Cabin in the Woods” has a unique plot device. Of course, the main characters are in a frightening abandoned area filled with psychotic killers, but there’s a twist: the innocent souls within the cabin are being monitored by technicians held in some sort of facility. The plot succeeds in making you wonder why or how these technicians are willing to set up the deaths of young adults through the entire 95-minute film, and even adds in some dashes of tongue-in-cheek humor to create a somewhat unique experience.
Unfortunately, that is the only positive aspect I can point out from “Cabin in the Woods.” It tries to be original. For that, I applaud it, but the key to success lies in the execution, which is where it ultimately fails.
The biggest flaw is with the main characters; red-headed beauty Dana (Kristen Connolly), jock boyfriend Curt (Chris Hemsworth), overly-flirty girlfriend Jules (Anna Hutchinson), absent-minded Marty (Fran Kranz), and scholarly Holden (Jesse Williams) all serve as stereotypical idiotically brave young adults. Kranz in particular achieved in making me cringe with every delivery of every line and served as a poor impersonator of the lovable Shaggy from “Scooby Doo.” The rest of the main cast was irritating in terms of their sheer unrealistic behavior.
Despite being warned by the typical clinically-insane man who lives in a place in the middle of nowhere and witnessing eerily creepy objects (along with coincidentally finding an unsettling excerpt from a diary), they decide to stay in the cabin. When they finally get a clue, it’s too late, and all of them are punished for their ridiculous ignorance.
The plot in and of itself is reminiscent of swiss cheese, filled with gigantic holes that pulled me out of the experience. I was waiting for a brilliant plot twist to make it all better, but the finale felt like an unoriginal cop-out.
For horror fanatics, there isn’t much to enjoy. As someone who doesn’t enjoy voluntarily scaring himself, I didn’t jump out of my seat nor did I even flinch; there isn’t much of a “scare factor.” For everyone else, there are little bits of humor not even worth mentioning.
“Cabin in the Woods” could have been something brilliant, but the irritating main cast and the horrible plot ruined the experience.